Inspector Findout and the Lost Cherry Pie
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Two Brief Excerpts
Mom. I’ve just declared maternal law.
Tom. What’s that?
Mom. It's like martial law, only I make the rules rather than the army. Your right against self incrimination is suspended [for the duration]. Now, look me straight in the eyes.
Tom. Before, I do, can I talk to a lawyer?
Mom. You can’t afford your father’s fees. Look me in the eyes, Buster!
Tom. (To audience) I thought they abolished the Spanish Inquisition..... (Back to Mom, realizing that mom is deadly serious). Yes, ma'am.
Tom. Ah ha, a suspect!
Tom. (Tom takes a step toward Erin to confront her) Yes, you! Mom's cherry pie is gone. You took it. What did you do with it?
Erin. What did I do with it? You suspect me, your darling little sister, of stealing a pie?
Tom. I suspect everyone and everybody.
Erin. I think your being redundant. “Everyone” would include “everybody,” and vice versa.
Tom. Do not mince words with Inspector Findout.
Erin. (Erin crosses down stage) I wasn't mincing words. (To Audience) "Mincing" would imply chopping words into little pieces. Nobody does that. (Quite pleased with herself) I was parsing them. (Turns back to question Tom) Who's this Inspector Findout, anyway?
Tom. I am he.
Erin. You look like my big brother. Can I see some identification?
When Mom's freshly baked pie disappears, to ferret out the culprit, she deputizes her son, Tom, under his pseudonym,
In the course of the investigation, he examines all the "usual suspects," which, in this case, include the family dog as well as four uncooperative sisters.
During the course of his investigation, "Inspector Findout" with his magnifying glass leaves no paw, tee shirt or toilet seat "unturned."
By: John Donald O'Shea
Cast:(1 boy, 5 girls, 1 either. Note: Double casting is unlikely to work )
Performance Time: Approximately 25 minutes.
Cast of Characters
Mom She is bright, witty and perceptive, and
always one step ahead of the kids
Tom. A precocious sixth or seventh grader with a
superior imagination, and intelligence. He
likes mysteries, and playing "detective."
Erin. Tom's darling younger sister. As bright as
Tom, but with only a little less formal
education. Doesn't quite trust Tom.
Gipper. The family dog, or preferably, a kid wearing a
dog costume. He (she) specializes in being
Amy. A seventh or eighth grader. Tom's older
sister. Chrissy's twin. Above being impressed
with Tom or any other young boy.
Chrissy. A seventh or eighth grader. Tom's older sister.
Amy's twin. Above being impressed with
Tom or any other young boy.
Sarah. Tom's older sister. An eighth or ninth grader.
Equally bright. Will indulge younger siblings
only to a point.